Some of you may know how much I love indoor cycling. I’ve been cycling for years, but it wasn’t until 2015 that I actually fell in LOVE with it.

I was watching “Work Out New York” on Bravo and was inspired by one of the trainers, Holly Rilinger, master instructor at Flywheel. I quickly signed up for a class, dragged a few of my nurse friends and went to a FLY 45 class (now called Method 45). I had such a rush of endorphins and immediately knew this was something I needed to do. I saw myself sitting where the magic happens – on that stage.

I started to go to Flywheel on a consistent basis, going back and forth between two locations, getting to know the riders, the format, the instructors. It didn’t matter the closest Flywheel was at least 45 minutes away, I was going. I released stress, anger, and mentally detoxified during each class.

My schedule with full-time work, school, and a per-diem job got hectic, and I made the decision to buy a Peloton bike. Riding at home was convenient since and ride at home since I could simply ride whenever my schedule allowed. Still, I longed for the feeling of riding in the studio every now and then.

Someone whom I work with, said to me, “I could always picture you teaching at SoulCycle.” She wasn’t the first person to say to me that they could picture me teaching cycling, but I always doubted myself and didn’t pursue it.

Once this nurse said she could see me teaching SoulCycle, I decided to audition. Here I was doubting myself, and on the other side, there’s someone who barely knows me telling me this?

Just putting it out there, I didn’t try out for SoulCycle or Flywheel, but for a smaller chain cycling studio, although my dream is to teach at Flywheel. Anyway, their requirements were to be engaging, fun, and ride to the rhythm. I thought, hey, that I could do! Wrong.

Manager at smaller chain cycling was super nice and my friends had taken her rides before. She said my choice of songs were perfect; my form was great, and she began to videotape me. I started to cycle and she stops the music and says I’m riding slower than 85 rpm. Once I looked down, I was riding at 73 so I was way off! She also didn’t care about torque/cadence/power, which is huge in my books as far as fitness goes. She stopped the audition, gave me constructive criticism and encouraged me to try again, saying that I had rhythm but needed more practice, especially when it came to my form.

I firmly believe every happens for a reason. It isn’t that it’s not meant to be, but perhaps the timing isn’t right. I need to work on my form, work on my confidence, get in better shape (it’s hard as hell to ride, speak and breathe at the same time!) These are things I need to master.

For me, going out and audition is HUGE. I’m not shy by any means (I used to sing in front of an audience) but I’m guilty of feeling self-conscious. Once I’m on that stage, whether is cycling, or singing, all the fear and nervousness dissipates, and the stage is mine.

I’m not sad about it, at least I can say I tried.